Vodka For Veterans

So, there's probably going to be a few people out there who dissapprove of this idea, from Mr. Joe Nedlin in Colorado. He's begun marketing a brand of vodka, the profits of which will go to support veterans. There are, of course, going to be people offended by the fact that this man is selling alcohol in the name of our national heros- but, in my humble, camoflauge-laden opinion, it's not too likely to be military folks that are upset by this. Sure, it's some of our own that are going to be helped by this, and that's one great reason not to protest- our veterans and war fighters can use all the support they can get! However, any veteran, soldier, marine, sailor, airman or guardsman- past, or present- is likely to be aware that, among us uniformed service men and women, alcohol is as American as apple pie. There are folks in the service who don't drink- plenty that never have- but, as a rule, the weekends are reserved for late nights, and rotating designated driver shifts.

Yo, Maine-iacs! STOP MAKING HEADLINES, WOULD YA?!

So, first off, Mr. Gil Steward of Auburn, Maine goes a lil crazy about the whole good-samaritan thing- when you find large quantities of money twice in a three-day period- IN THE SAME PLACE, brother, you best believe it's a sign. And living in Auburn?! Anyone who's been to Auburn knows what I'm saying here- money doesn't come cheap in that town! Okay, a wallet, sure, but a frikkin BAG OF MONEY?! Seriously, folks, you can't make that shit up!!!

Then we have Mr. Matthew Tyler of Limington, Maine going so far above and beyond 'Hey, ya'll watch this' I can't even figure out where to start. Anyone who's lived in the north for more than a day can tell you if you're driving, and it's cold out, ya can't really see what's beneath all that snow, and you come to a biiiiig clearing- don't drive through it, cuz it's a damned lake! From the looks of the three inches of truck above water, that chevy wasn't starting any time soon. One of the locals took the time to comment on the article online "Hey folks our first idiot of the season!" Yep... When do we start placing bets on who the next ten or twenty to pull this off will be?

On the topic of shit you can't make up, there is a truck of eggs missing up in Turner, Maine. State police apparently asked fellow troopers throughout New England to be on the lookout for the missing 260,000 eggs. To boot, this is apparently not the first- nor even the largest egg heist in the state of Maine to date.

Just When You Thought People Couldn't Get More Sick...

Just when your wildest nightmares had been completely outdone by stories of real-life pirates and drug dealers underwear being sold by federal authorities, comes a story that is so far beyond sick no explanation, no imaginable motive even comes close to covering it. A group of three HIV-Positive Dutch men were charged with aggravated assault, rape and illegal possession of drugs after allegedly advertising gay orgies and drugging men, to either rape them or- get this- inject them with a syringe of their own HIV-infected blood- or both. One of these men is a nurse, and the ages of the accused are 39, 49 and 50 years old. What kind of disgusting hatred must one have to not only go so far as to rape another human being- but to premeditate it to this sickening degree and to inject them with your own infected blood? This brings a whole different meaning to the term sick. There are 14 alleged victims of this trio.

Lollipop, Lollipop.....

This one, from Reuter's Oddly Enough, was just far too amusing not to repost. Alright, the point of the article is bizzarre enough in and of itself. The resale of a drug dealer's possesions is just one of those things you really don't hear much about these days. However, the image and, better yet, the comments were the real kicker. Go ahead and check it out- there's just no explaining this one, kids.

Body Image Statistics

So, over here, at http://www.colorado.edu/, they explain some interesting statistics on body issues and images among a group surveyed. For example, in 1998, the average age for a girl to start dieting was eight- 8- years old. Don't most girls still think boys have cooties at eight years old? Who the hell is telling them they're fat when they should be climbing trees and throwing rocks at boys? Seriously! Though it doesn't specify what age group this refers to, young girls are more afraid, as a whole of those surveyed, of getting fat than of losing their parents, cancer or nuclear war. How and what- if anything- are we teaching these girls in way of priority if they are this frightened of gaining weight? Despite the fact that two thirds of dieters regain the lost weight within a single year, somehow, between diet foods, programs, drugs and other diet products, the diet industry rakes in more than 40 billion dollars every year- and the estimate continues climbing. In a single year, we are feeding an industry which provides virtually no lasting results more than twice what our government spent weeks approving to bail out the entire automotive industry.
Tell me this is not proof of painfully skewed values amongst the average person, and watch me laugh in your face.

Leadership

Most literature I've read about leadership generally agree on certain issues: leaders need to be able to manage their time, they need to be able to distribute responsibility, and they need to know the people they are leading.
How far, though, does a leader have to go to really satisfy that last quality? Do they need to know what each member of their team excels at? Do they need to know the work abilities of these people? Does it go farther than that?
I think it goes much farther than that. Being among the lowest on the totem poll in the ranks of the Army, leadership is not an issue that can be avoided- at all. Nothing gets done without the approval of our leaders. We do the work, they tell us what to do. It really is that simple, mostly. However, it pains me to see that many leaders do not see- or purposely look away when they do see- their team members behaving out of the norm, when they fail to live up to the standards they generally hold true to, when these greener folks are suddenly getting in trouble, lashing out, and taking an attitude when they never would have before. How are leaders so willing to console themselves with their own assumed ignorance while those they are responsible for suffer? How do they blatantly ignore these people who ask them for help? How do they expect reprimands to correct action that never stemmed from lack of knowledge between acceptable versus unacceptable behavior? It goes deeper, but when everyone ignores that, it will never get better.

Sisterhood

How many times have you told your daughter she can be anything she wants to be when she grows up?
How many times have you told her all it takes is wanting it enough?
How many times have you told her that she is as good as any boy?

Now, how many times have you told her that she never needs to remain silent when she is hurt?

There are so many women, girls, young ladies out there that have experienced so much hurt, so much pain in their lives, and yet we are always so afraid to turn to one another with it. I wonder if women have always been so distant from one another. I wonder if women were ever really able to trust one another on more than an occasional one-on-one basis. I am as guilty as the next woman of making the general statement that I simply do not get along with women. So many of us have said that, so many of us live that, so many of us wish it were different- but who are we expecting to change it? No one else is capable of taking that step forward, of opening up, of risking just a little to possible gain so much. So many of us have been through the same things, but we keep it locked up, because men don't understand it and we don't have any women around to share it with. When did we stop being sisters and start being competition? If we can't accept each other as we are, how the hell do we expect men to?
What has happened to us?

Cheating Ourselves, Cheating Our Children

I can't seem to call myself a feminist without flinching. I am a woman, I do the best I can, I don't let my gender hold me back, and I frequently wonder if it is truly necessary to have an entire sub-culture dedicated to women being equal to their biological counterparts. It's interesting to me, if somewhat bizarre, that, in gaining control of our own destinies, we have also learned to disrespect our selves, our bodies, our needs the same ways we despised men doing so. In the attempt of raising ourselves up to the societal level of men, we also seemed to have lowered ourselves to a level we never would have considered before. We must remind the world that we can do everything they can do- and that seems to include self-afflictions such as promiscuity, demanding impossible standards in various areas of our lives, expecting less from those we pursue romantic relationships with, and accepting degrading roles under the guise of personal or sexual freedom. Why do we choose to trade our self-worth for the ability to break the glass ceiling? Why do we accept promiscuity as the norm? We can raise our daughters, telling them they can be anything they want to be- including the President of The United States. It's no longer a far-fetched ideal. We tell our daughters they can do anything, be anything- but we tell them this, and seem to forget to teach them the kinds of values they need to know to maintain their self-respect and equal status in a romantic relationship. There are advertisements everywhere defining rape and saying that everyone has the God-given right to say no, but we fail to tell our daughters that they are in charge of their own bodies, to remind them that these choices can not be taken back, that these options have permanent consequences, many of which go far past the physical sense of self. We don't teach them, nor talk to them about what is proper, what they should expect, what is acceptable from someone they date. We forget to tell them that being anything they want to be includes a virgin, a wife, a mother- and that they can have it in that order. When did we stop raising our sons to open doors and stop telling our daughters that it's okay to expect that? Why do we not tell our daughters that they can be on their school basketball team and still expect chivalrous gestures? When did we decide that career opportunities could only be gained by trading in our lady-like qualities? When did we decide that we weren't happy having it all, we had to give something up in order to truly be an equal?
Many of my male friends and co-workers have expressed a certain level of discomfort at the thought of holding doors open and paying for dates. I've heard it said more than once that they have been reprimanded by a woman for doing these things, these gentlemen were told to stop treating these women like they were incapable. This is simply beyond my comprehension. Was it really that long ago that the ideal boyfriend or husband held doors open every time and was gentleman enough to assume responsibility for the check when he had asked a woman to dinner? We have ousted men from what has traditionally been considered among the best of their qualities as a whole- and for what? Opening the door myself is no great feat, it does not give me any more pleasure, nor any sense of accomplishment, nor do I see why it should give anyone such a thrill. The simple gesture of holding the door open for another person, however, is an act of kindness, one which should benefit both parties. If a simple kindness afforded to another human being becomes such a point of obvious contention, what are we saying to the future generations about respect and kindess on a larger scale? If our daughters don't feel they have the right to the small gestures of caring and kindness, what are we to expect when it comes to more signifigant aspects of their relationships? If it is wrong for him to treat her more gently on a date than he would one of the guys going out drinking, what can we really expect these young adults to think is neccesary or appropriate when the relationship between the two extends into more intimate territory?

The Price We Put On Ourselves Is The Price We Pay

Disrespect- noun- lack of respect, esteem, or courteous regard.



When did respect become a value we no longer, well, respected?



When did the terms 'ma'am' and 'sir' turn sarcastic and rude?



When did we lose respect for each other?

When did we lose respect for ourselves?

Were these even two separate events?



When did "tradition"become something to avoid?



We speak frequently of equality, of fairness, of human rights. We have a Commander-In-Chief who is half African-American. No doubt a big step forward, right? I have never been one to judge on skin color- I have found more often that degrading terms more often apply to those who use them than those they are applied to. I don't care who someone has romantic relationships with, so long as it does not cause anyone involved harm, I don't see why anyone else should, either. I don't think abortion is always the wrong choice, despite the fact that I could never imagine having one myself. These are so-called "traditional values", and are much argued over in this day and age. I think these things that we call values are actually not so much values as political issues, things that will be argued over so long as mankind maintains free will. What strikes me odd is that the most basic courtesies- ones that no one ever argued over in a public forum of the magnitude we see these so-called values are- are the things that are truly degrading the human race as a whole. We don't show our elders nor societal superiors common courtesies of titles, or even of the small gestures of kindness. No longer do we take our hats off in the house, no longer do we address our elders as sir or ma'am, no longer do we rise out of our seat on the bus or train or in the waiting room to allow someone older or more physically incapable than ourselves to take a seat. We don't wait for everyone to come to the table before we begin the meal, we don't look people in the eye when we speak to them, we often times neglect to even give a proper introduction. Women are rising to higher positions of power, and have fewer doors held open, and see it less necessary to nurture or mentor those other women on their way up. Black men refer to each other by terms that have always had derogatory and abusive definitions, but are more than welcome, and frequently encouraged, to achieve higher education than ever before. Native Americans are welcome to live tax-free on land set aside from the government, but do not feel the need to work to maintain the majority of the reservations. It is a trend, I fear, amongst all human beings- the moment we no longer have to struggle for what we feel is rightfully ours, it's worth bottoms out. Every group of people that has been relieved of oppression- the majority of which took many generations of struggle and effort- comes to a dead stop when they no longer have to struggle, frequently still speaking of the oppression in the present-tense. It is not just a racial idea- it is mankind as a whole. As a woman, I frequently hear the complaints of my sisters of all races, of all backgrounds, from many, many places still speaking of the oppression we face. When does it stop being oppression and start being low expectations? Where is the line between a societal norm and an opinion? We are no longer strangers, as a gender, to any career- we can do anything we put our minds to. We are no longer oppressed. There are women in the highest reaches of society, outside of certain religious aspects that condemn this. If it is not the standard we set for ourselves, if we do not expect ourselves to reach those high places, how- and, more, why- should anybody else expect us to? We are past the point of being less, or of being oppressed. We are setting our own goals, our own standards, with no more- and frequently even less- obstacles than our counterparts of other races and genders. What we expect of ourselves dictates what others expect of us and what others are willing to perceive of us- as individuals and as a whole. No, my friends, we are no longer oppressed- we are free to disrespect and be disrespected as much as any other gender, race or religion. Congratulations, we made it.

Dishonor, Disrespect, Dis Some Bullshit (Rant)

I was walking through the Post Exchange a few weeks ago and a book caught my eye, called Why Black Men Love White Women. It's a unique enough title, I suppose- then again, why would one choose a title that didn't cry for attention? Anyhow, after the image of the book had popped into my head multiple times, I finally gave in and bought the damn thing, though I'd be lying if I said I expected much of it. Societal-analytical literature tends to cover a very narrow view point, and a very limited area of the human psyche.
I suppose it's only fair to note that I'm more than exhausted as I write this, and that benedryl may have some effect on my flow.
To continue, I've been more and more interested in the way human beings, as individuals, and as a whole, treat one another, from simple reaction to the very initiation of interaction. I often wonder if I could possibly have anything new to contribute to the views that run amok out there. I somehow doubt it, but I tend to have a great appreciation for how these habits affect me and how frequently my reactions or interactions are nothing more than societal dictations. All cultural, religious, moral and federal laws and even our basic, almost intuitive rules for how we interact as human beings are based on the idea of free will. Where, though, does free will meet or overlap with how we are trained as individuals? Labels hidden under the pretense of being diagnoses are everywhere these days- a happy, active school-age child is now no longer deemed 'hyper' or 'friendly', they are labeled to have 'Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder'. A moody teen or young adult, even under abnormal amounts of stress, is considered Bipolar, rather than stressed out. Alcoholism, eating disorders, drug addicts- all diseases requiring medication, rather than basic re-training. I remember hearing frequently that "everyone blames the parents" but I can't, in my lifetime, remember a point that this was true. In fact, in the last twenty-something years, I think parents- mothers in particular- are getting off easy, especially the ones that do it alone. Did someone put out a memo that parents were no longer responsible for their childrens' mental well-being as well as physical? Fathers often are pointed at for being absent or not having quite enough presence in the child's life. Some take too much blame. No one, in my memory or knowledge, ever told the public that being a parent- single or otherwise- was ever going to be easy. Life in general is hard. Giving birth to children is a responsibility taken far too lightly these days- a harsh counter to the once strict rules of never having children out of wedlock that existed not so long ago. Is it human nature to rebel against the rules, to try to change them? Is waiting til at least marriage, if not maturity, to have children really such an awful idea? When did we fall out of love with balance, with family, with tradition and respect and faith and manners? I am coming upon my twenty-third birthday, and already I wonder what happened to simply respecting one another's basic humanity? Doesn't it strike a chord with anyone else that a child is scolded as being a smart ass when they respond to their parent with the term 'ma'am' or 'sir'? It wasn't so very long ago that the junior person in a conversation was considered rude for not using such a term. What happened to these days?
What's worse is that people have not only lost respect for others, but they've lost respect for themselves. Peer pressure is a viable marketing tool in this day and age. Ads for various condom companies play nearly back-to-back on television, showing attractive, sensual people in action, in bathrooms, alleys, cars- nearly everywhere. I remember as a child noticing that movies and television rarely depicted physical affection between two adults that were not married in that venue. It's far less likely to see married couples depicted at all anymore, everyone is so in love with the wildness of modern-day single life. I have never considered myself anything along the lines of old-school, hell, I don't even consider myself a republican. I don't disagree, personally, with abortion as a whole, I have no issues of my own with sexual preferences or people of different races, or interracial relationships. I am not opposed to many of these things that so many people seem to be. I can't accept that any mass-ruling on a topic can ever be right. Not all expecting mothers feel the need to consider abortion, not all humans feel the need to engage in romantic relationships with people of the same gender, and not all of us were born with pale skin- but in each case, there are people who do or are. I, personally, don't see a thing wrong with that. At the same time, what is wrong with waiting until marriage to experience physical love? What is wrong with showing respect to someone with more years of experience than yourself? What is wrong with not expecting everyone to conform to the modern-day standards of rebellion? When did disrespecting ourselves and one another become the norm?
Recently, very recently, our new Commander-In-Chief was elected. It made headlines worldwide- he is the first African-American President of The United States Of America. Many people point to this as a sign of how far we've come, how much we've progressed throughout the generations. I have nothing negative to say about my new boss. I simply don't take it as a sign of maturing as a people, of becoming more respectful of this race or that religion- we are now free to disrespect everyone equally.

Bitchiness VS Feminism

I love this article from Sirens Mag.
Being in the Army as a woman, the anti-"Feminist" attitude is thrown in my face on a daily basis. In a society where the four-letter 'f-word' is more acceptable than the word 'feminist', it is frustrating to deal with the attitudes some days. I hear many women talk about being a female in the military and there are dozens of books on the subject at this point. The words 'female soldier' have been drained of any pride for me at this point, and are now associated with negative attitudes and blatant promiscuity, and the occasional woman-in-uniform crying equal opportunity and/or sexual harrasment weekly.
Let me explain to you that feminism is not defined by the women that are loud, angry, man-hating, hairy steroid-ridden bitches. A bitch is a bitch. Feminism is saying 'I can do that, too, watch this!' and letting the guys be surprised. I wear ACU's and combat boots, I carry my own gear, I do my own paperwork, and I'm great at my job. I can still appreciate a man who opens a door when I'm in a skirt and heels on a date. I can still thank a man courteously for paying the cab fare or buying dinner. I am a feminist. I get more respect, for myself and for women as a whole, by quietly pushing the boundaries and standing up for myself and others- male or female- when something is wrong. Respect is respect, I have strengths and weaknesses, and there are some biological differences, but none of them take me out of any fight.
I am single, female, and in the United States Armed Forces. Tell me there is a more male-dominated work force out there and I will tell you that you are wrong. It doesn't bother me. I don't care. I am proud of my job, not because I am a female doing it, but because it is a job to be proud of. I am proud of myself when I run faster than I have before, when I do better at some skill I have had a hard time with, when I write something worth reading, when I say something that makes people think, when I help someone, when I fix something. I am only competing with myself in the end. So long as I am improving, I have nothing to apologize for or be angry about.
I should explain, I suppose, that at 22 years old, I am divorced and have no children of my own. I have gone rounds with being dependent, with leaning on someone else for some of my most basic needs. It was a learning experience, a stepping stone. I am stronger because of it. I have lived my own personal hell, and I am ready for more, I am ready for the next round. I can handle anything. I am single, and I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be happy to fall in love and live my dream. I will not take less than what I want, though, never less than what I deserve. I don't want a sugar daddy, nor someone I have to babysit, I want a partner. I want someone who will look out for me and who is okay with me looking out for them. I want a give-and-take relationship, where balance and trust are key- because respect is just the foundation. I can wait for what is right.

The Outside Forces Of Introspection

I've been studying the Baha'i faith recently. I find myself a little more at peace when I think of it, or read the words, or pray... It's not as limited as many religions and faiths that I have looked into before, and the only part of it I have a hard time with is the disagreement with homosexuality, though I expect that tends to be one of the points that is practiced much more quietly, if at all. Baha'iism is a very tolerant and peaceful religion, and is not hateful or... ignorant, I suppose is the word.
The interesting, and, for most, I expect, sticking point of the Baha'i faith is that it is not your old-school, angry father figure on a cloud kind of religion. There is no burning in hell because you read the wrong book, there is no religious war... God created us all, God loves us all, God has watched the human race grow up, and we are now reaching maturity, so we can understand that there is only one God, and he has sent many messengers, not just one, and that we are all family, all one.
I've always had a hard time with religion. My mother was raised Protestant, my father Catholic, my stepfather Baptist, my aunt is a Latter-Day Saint, or Mormon for those of you who aren't quite so caught up on the religiously p.c. lingo, many of my friends are Jewish and I grew up in an area much populated by the pagan beliefs of the Native Americans. I have known Hindus, Buddhists, and Satanists. I have seen Wiccan ceremonies, attended Jewish, Mormon, Baptist, Gospel, and numerous other religious services. I was baptized in a Protestant church, and had my first holy communion- a Catholic ceremony. The vast majority of religions have some hateful or intolerant aspect to them. I am not okay with hate, no matter what symbol or deity it hides behind. There are a good many religions that people are unaware of, such as Luciferianism, which is somewhat similar to Satanism, though generally appears to disclaim such a link, and, honestly, I think all religions deserve some look, though belief is a very personal choice. I can't deal with hate, or putting any people down as a whole. I've dated people of pretty much every race, I believe, at some point, however brief, and I see nothing wrong with interracial marriages, only dysfunctional relationships. Baha'i supports and encourages interracial relationships and marraiges, and I think that's what the world needs right now.
This is turning into a discombobulated rant, but I've recently come to realize that it's not so much race as culture that defines people... I grew up in a heavily hispanic neighborhood, and in that culture, women do not back down, they are emotional and loud and straight-forward. If a man in my old neighborhood said his wife 'flipped out' on him, that means something was thrown, most likely at his head. Now, I've met plenty of men who think as soon as a woman cries that counts as 'flipping out'. There have been men who got unstrung if I told them to shut up, even in a playful manner. It amazes me that some people are so oblivious to the fact that emotions are what fuel people. I am a soldier- I know what being professional means. I am professional. However, if it weren't for the emotions, the pride, the passion for certain things, all the professionalism in the world wouldn't keep me doing my job.
Get used to it, guys, even the tough girl has a heart. I should know.

Obama? That's My Boss.

So, I hated the options we had for presidents this go-round. I do not side with Democrat or Republican, I just follow my conscience. However, it seemed a lot like trying to pick the lesser of two evils, but I wonder if there's ever been another way. Regardless, I support my new President (elect) and hope he will prove he was always the best man for the job. It is amusing, at the very least, to watch the after math of the election, and all the scurrying about and awkward and frequently amusing commentaries running. For example, Siren Magazine had this to say: "Old white men: Palin all but stole the spotlight from John McCain, who is about as sympathetic as a privileged white man can get (war hero, adoptive father of a minority daughter, self-deprecating). And, um, look who just got elected President. Sorry old, white dudes, American isn't so much your bitch anymore." I have to smile at that. I have to smile at the unity, the change, the chance for change, and the hope that this brings. Our country is becoming more open-minded, and that simply can't be a bad thing.