I love this article from Sirens Mag.
Being in the Army as a woman, the anti-"Feminist" attitude is thrown in my face on a daily basis. In a society where the four-letter 'f-word' is more acceptable than the word 'feminist', it is frustrating to deal with the attitudes some days. I hear many women talk about being a female in the military and there are dozens of books on the subject at this point. The words 'female soldier' have been drained of any pride for me at this point, and are now associated with negative attitudes and blatant promiscuity, and the occasional woman-in-uniform crying equal opportunity and/or sexual harrasment weekly.
Let me explain to you that feminism is not defined by the women that are loud, angry, man-hating, hairy steroid-ridden bitches. A bitch is a bitch. Feminism is saying 'I can do that, too, watch this!' and letting the guys be surprised. I wear ACU's and combat boots, I carry my own gear, I do my own paperwork, and I'm great at my job. I can still appreciate a man who opens a door when I'm in a skirt and heels on a date. I can still thank a man courteously for paying the cab fare or buying dinner. I am a feminist. I get more respect, for myself and for women as a whole, by quietly pushing the boundaries and standing up for myself and others- male or female- when something is wrong. Respect is respect, I have strengths and weaknesses, and there are some biological differences, but none of them take me out of any fight.
I am single, female, and in the United States Armed Forces. Tell me there is a more male-dominated work force out there and I will tell you that you are wrong. It doesn't bother me. I don't care. I am proud of my job, not because I am a female doing it, but because it is a job to be proud of. I am proud of myself when I run faster than I have before, when I do better at some skill I have had a hard time with, when I write something worth reading, when I say something that makes people think, when I help someone, when I fix something. I am only competing with myself in the end. So long as I am improving, I have nothing to apologize for or be angry about.
I should explain, I suppose, that at 22 years old, I am divorced and have no children of my own. I have gone rounds with being dependent, with leaning on someone else for some of my most basic needs. It was a learning experience, a stepping stone. I am stronger because of it. I have lived my own personal hell, and I am ready for more, I am ready for the next round. I can handle anything. I am single, and I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be happy to fall in love and live my dream. I will not take less than what I want, though, never less than what I deserve. I don't want a sugar daddy, nor someone I have to babysit, I want a partner. I want someone who will look out for me and who is okay with me looking out for them. I want a give-and-take relationship, where balance and trust are key- because respect is just the foundation. I can wait for what is right.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
The Outside Forces Of Introspection
I've been studying the Baha'i faith recently. I find myself a little more at peace when I think of it, or read the words, or pray... It's not as limited as many religions and faiths that I have looked into before, and the only part of it I have a hard time with is the disagreement with homosexuality, though I expect that tends to be one of the points that is practiced much more quietly, if at all. Baha'iism is a very tolerant and peaceful religion, and is not hateful or... ignorant, I suppose is the word.
The interesting, and, for most, I expect, sticking point of the Baha'i faith is that it is not your old-school, angry father figure on a cloud kind of religion. There is no burning in hell because you read the wrong book, there is no religious war... God created us all, God loves us all, God has watched the human race grow up, and we are now reaching maturity, so we can understand that there is only one God, and he has sent many messengers, not just one, and that we are all family, all one.
I've always had a hard time with religion. My mother was raised Protestant, my father Catholic, my stepfather Baptist, my aunt is a Latter-Day Saint, or Mormon for those of you who aren't quite so caught up on the religiously p.c. lingo, many of my friends are Jewish and I grew up in an area much populated by the pagan beliefs of the Native Americans. I have known Hindus, Buddhists, and Satanists. I have seen Wiccan ceremonies, attended Jewish, Mormon, Baptist, Gospel, and numerous other religious services. I was baptized in a Protestant church, and had my first holy communion- a Catholic ceremony. The vast majority of religions have some hateful or intolerant aspect to them. I am not okay with hate, no matter what symbol or deity it hides behind. There are a good many religions that people are unaware of, such as Luciferianism, which is somewhat similar to Satanism, though generally appears to disclaim such a link, and, honestly, I think all religions deserve some look, though belief is a very personal choice. I can't deal with hate, or putting any people down as a whole. I've dated people of pretty much every race, I believe, at some point, however brief, and I see nothing wrong with interracial marriages, only dysfunctional relationships. Baha'i supports and encourages interracial relationships and marraiges, and I think that's what the world needs right now.
This is turning into a discombobulated rant, but I've recently come to realize that it's not so much race as culture that defines people... I grew up in a heavily hispanic neighborhood, and in that culture, women do not back down, they are emotional and loud and straight-forward. If a man in my old neighborhood said his wife 'flipped out' on him, that means something was thrown, most likely at his head. Now, I've met plenty of men who think as soon as a woman cries that counts as 'flipping out'. There have been men who got unstrung if I told them to shut up, even in a playful manner. It amazes me that some people are so oblivious to the fact that emotions are what fuel people. I am a soldier- I know what being professional means. I am professional. However, if it weren't for the emotions, the pride, the passion for certain things, all the professionalism in the world wouldn't keep me doing my job.
Get used to it, guys, even the tough girl has a heart. I should know.
The interesting, and, for most, I expect, sticking point of the Baha'i faith is that it is not your old-school, angry father figure on a cloud kind of religion. There is no burning in hell because you read the wrong book, there is no religious war... God created us all, God loves us all, God has watched the human race grow up, and we are now reaching maturity, so we can understand that there is only one God, and he has sent many messengers, not just one, and that we are all family, all one.
I've always had a hard time with religion. My mother was raised Protestant, my father Catholic, my stepfather Baptist, my aunt is a Latter-Day Saint, or Mormon for those of you who aren't quite so caught up on the religiously p.c. lingo, many of my friends are Jewish and I grew up in an area much populated by the pagan beliefs of the Native Americans. I have known Hindus, Buddhists, and Satanists. I have seen Wiccan ceremonies, attended Jewish, Mormon, Baptist, Gospel, and numerous other religious services. I was baptized in a Protestant church, and had my first holy communion- a Catholic ceremony. The vast majority of religions have some hateful or intolerant aspect to them. I am not okay with hate, no matter what symbol or deity it hides behind. There are a good many religions that people are unaware of, such as Luciferianism, which is somewhat similar to Satanism, though generally appears to disclaim such a link, and, honestly, I think all religions deserve some look, though belief is a very personal choice. I can't deal with hate, or putting any people down as a whole. I've dated people of pretty much every race, I believe, at some point, however brief, and I see nothing wrong with interracial marriages, only dysfunctional relationships. Baha'i supports and encourages interracial relationships and marraiges, and I think that's what the world needs right now.
This is turning into a discombobulated rant, but I've recently come to realize that it's not so much race as culture that defines people... I grew up in a heavily hispanic neighborhood, and in that culture, women do not back down, they are emotional and loud and straight-forward. If a man in my old neighborhood said his wife 'flipped out' on him, that means something was thrown, most likely at his head. Now, I've met plenty of men who think as soon as a woman cries that counts as 'flipping out'. There have been men who got unstrung if I told them to shut up, even in a playful manner. It amazes me that some people are so oblivious to the fact that emotions are what fuel people. I am a soldier- I know what being professional means. I am professional. However, if it weren't for the emotions, the pride, the passion for certain things, all the professionalism in the world wouldn't keep me doing my job.
Get used to it, guys, even the tough girl has a heart. I should know.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Obama? That's My Boss.
So, I hated the options we had for presidents this go-round. I do not side with Democrat or Republican, I just follow my conscience. However, it seemed a lot like trying to pick the lesser of two evils, but I wonder if there's ever been another way. Regardless, I support my new President (elect) and hope he will prove he was always the best man for the job. It is amusing, at the very least, to watch the after math of the election, and all the scurrying about and awkward and frequently amusing commentaries running. For example, Siren Magazine had this to say: "Old white men: Palin all but stole the spotlight from John McCain, who is about as sympathetic as a privileged white man can get (war hero, adoptive father of a minority daughter, self-deprecating). And, um, look who just got elected President. Sorry old, white dudes, American isn't so much your bitch anymore." I have to smile at that. I have to smile at the unity, the change, the chance for change, and the hope that this brings. Our country is becoming more open-minded, and that simply can't be a bad thing.
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